I don't know why but I feel like writing about my first love. To keep things anonymous I will refer to her as "LE" and keep specifics somewhat vague. It was 1990 and I knew LE from school. We were in the same class for most of the school year but I was very smart for my age and I was moved ahead two grades into a more advanced class. After that I only saw LE during recess and the in lunchroom. We never really spoke, but I had such a huge crush on her. She was beautiful. Long blond hair, Blue eyes, and a very shapely figure for someone her age. I remember one day in mid May my parents couldn't come pick me up after school for some unknown reason so I had 2 choices, Either wait 2-3 hours for my teacher to get off work to give me a ride home or walk the 45 minute walk. I started out walking but just as I exited the school I bumped into LE waiting for her mother to pick her up. She offered me a ride and I eagerly accepted. It turned out we lived 3 blocks away from each other. I remember getting out of the car and I had asked LE if she would like to come to my upcoming birthday party. I was so nervous. At that age I had no idea how to talk to girls, especially cute ones. She smiled and after getting an approving look from her mom she accepted. Over the next 2 weeks at school I hung out with her everyday at recess and in the lunchroom. We talked about everything and I mostly remember her laughing at the things I said. I was so nerdy and she seemed so mature. I do remember loving it when she laughed. I think that's where I developed my sense of humor. I love making people laugh even today. She came to my party. It was a pretty typical 9th birthday party with the cake and the balloons and the presents and what not. I remember getting a few Nintendo games which was sweet. Nintendo was awesome at that age. As the party died out and dusk approached LE and I snuck off to this small private secluded area in our neighborhood behind a gas station where my friends and I made a fort. We talked for a while and I remember her asking me why I wasn't playing my new games or hanging out with any of my other friends. I responded "There is no where I'd rather be than right here with you." She smiled and blushed and I knew right then that she just melted. I felt as if I had said the right thing at the right time and I really didn't want to mess it up with one of my lame jokes. I wanted to kiss her. It felt like the time was right but I was so shy. I remember going for it and I leaned in so fast we almost collided. It was my first real kiss. I had no idea what the hell I was doing but I managed to pull it off. We ended up doing other things that I will not mention but I will say we were way to young to do the things we did that night. We had the whole summer ahead of us and we had a blast. I hung out with LE everyday that entire summer and eventually one day when we were swimming she told me she loved me. I had no idea how I felt or what love really was but I told her I loved her back and I left it at that. I had no idea what love was or if I even felt it for her but I would soon find out. That fall when the "back to school" signs started appearing every where I found out I was going to an advanced school for people who academically advanced. The advanced school was more than 200 miles away. I felt a sinking feeling in my chest because I knew my time with LE was coming to an end. She was moving out of state anyways. I remember saying goodbye to her. It was hard. Harder than anything someone at that age should have to go through. I think that's when I truly found out , as my car was pulling away and I saw her fading into the distance, at that one single moment, I found out what love was.
photo courtesy of amarkedman.com
